Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
