No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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