whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
