ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
