i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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