Just fell off a train. Bad.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
