My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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