i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
what day is it and did you see me today?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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