Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
third nipple confirmed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
