I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
