is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
