marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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