We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
