wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
