Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
