Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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