I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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