I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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