She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
