I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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