i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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