Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
