I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
