he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
