Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
