I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
time to smoke my breakfast
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
