another moral hangover. fuck.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
