y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
