i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
