so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
