I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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