I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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