careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
