you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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