In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
