spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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