Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
