The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
