this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
