the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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