I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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