Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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