OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
