There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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