I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
