Dual....:-)
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Can I color on your dick again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
