The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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