names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
