I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
