i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
