I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
MIDGETS
????
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
